The Gods We Serve
by Baalsgirl
Summary: Baal has captured Sam. Now he is trying to make her his slave using her troubled love against her...
1. Default Chapter

**The Gods We Serve** _by Baalsgirl_  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate. MGM and some others do... Everything that's not from the series, as there are some unique characters, is original and property of the author. And so is the storyline, so keep your hands off it, peeps.  
Aw, and I don't do that for money or something, just for fun.  
  
Setting: Season 7, in the time between "Chimera" and "Death Knell".  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be sincere...  
  
Pairings: S/P (let's not dwell on that...) , S/J (in the later chapters)  
  
Author's notes: Warning, what is about to follow is another Baal containing fanfic. I know there have been a lot of them around recently, but I hope you like it, though. Maybe you'll find it brute or so, but please don't be too hard with me, it's my first dark story. So here we go...  
  
Chapter 1 - Plans change  
  
Samantha Carter's feeling of time was no longer existent. She didn't now any more whether it was day or night. For a long period of time she had just lived, and died, from torture session to torture session, over and over again. At the beginning of her nightmare that now seemed an eternity ago she had counted the times the system lord Baal had tortured, killed and then revived her in the sarcophargus. Now the amount of those sessions had become so numerous that Sam had lost the thread counting. At the moment she was in a holding cell waiting for Baal's jaffa to take her once again. And there they came: two tall, heavily armed jaffa came to a stop in front of her cell. One of them deactivated the force field at the cell entrance and with it gravity was restored to a normal level. Sam got onto her unsteady feet waiting for the two guards to enter and tear her away. But this time things were different. One of the jaffa pulled a zat gun from his belt and aimed it at her, then he pulled the trigger. The moment the blast hit her, Carter felt her knees buckle, she stumbled backwards and crashed into the stone wall behind her, heavily bumping her head; everything around her went black.  
  
As Sam opened her eyes again she was not able to see clear. Waves of colors and bright spots were dancing before her eyes. She blinked several times so that the spots vanished from her sight, but still she was unable to focus on anything. Not far away from her Carter heard a voice, a soft, female one she did not recognize, she was speaking Goa'uld to somebody else who was around. Sam moaned out with pain. The voice held on and steps came toward her position, a hand was reaching out for her right temple, something cold and wet brushed over it. As the hand was pulled back again, she managed to grab its wrist with her own hand. Her sight had become clearer and so Sam rose her head looking into the direction where she had taken hold of the hand. The women it belonged to seemed surprised about the major's sudden awakening. She carefully pulled her wrist out of Carter's tight grip and then shoved her shoulders back down to the bed.  
  
Sam blinked for another time. Now she saw the other female more clearly. It was a girl aged about sixteen, maybe older. She was tall and skinny, had long brown hair reaching far over her shoulders, pale skin and sad greenish-brown eyes. The young woman eyed her from top to bottom, then spoke to her in astonishingly perfect English: "You mustn't move. You are having a heavy concussion."  
  
For another time she wiped over Sam's forehead with a cold cloth before turning away and moving out of sight.  
  
All of a sudden the room around her got busy. Several servants entered all carrying different things. A bowl of hot, steaming water was sat down at the side of her bed, next to it a pile of linen towels.  
  
As the servants had gone again the door hissed open once again. Another woman entered the scene. The young one that had just spoken to Sam came rushing over to her bowing in front of her. They exchanged some words in Goa'uld. The voice of the older woman that had just entered was distorted. She had to be one of the lower Goa'uld assigned to Baal's service.  
  
The two of them now moved right into Sam's direction. The Goa'uld knelt down at the top of the bed. Sam winced as the female's cold hand touched her cheek. Her head was moved to the one side facing the Goa'uld. She revealed a healing device and pointed it at the major's head. A moment later the dizziness was completely gone from Sam. The woman deactivated the device and left as soon as she had come.  
Now the girl from before helped Sam into an upright, sitting position.  
  
"What...?" Sam began a question.  
  
"Shsh", the girl shushed her, "not yet." She put a towel into the water bowl. Then she started to undress Carter from her torn clothes that still showed the marks of torture. She washed her body and face, dried everything carefully and dressed her into a lose sleeveless dress made of blue muslin. She helped her to sit down on the edge of the bed, then combed her fuzzy blonde hair.  
  
As she had finished she sat down on the floor legs crossed, her hands folded into her lap.  
"Now we can talk", she said.  
  
"Where am I and what am I doing here?"  
  
"You are aboard Lord Baal's flagship. You will be relocated to another planet where you will be assigned to his service as a servant."  
  
"What?" Sam's eyes widened with shock and confusion.  
  
The other woman did not comprehend this reaction: "What's wrong with you? Serving your god is an honor."  
  
"I won't serve him", Sam brought out through her gritted teeth.  
  
The expression on her opposite's face hardened. "Well, this is not up to you." The girl rose and turned away leaving an anxious and crestfallen Samantha behind her.  
  



	2. Lost Team Member

Chapter 2 -Lost Team Member  
  
"Sam was right behind me as I went through the gate", Daniel pointed out looking around the conference room in a rather puzzled way then turned his gaze to Colonel O'Neill who had stood up from the table and was now wandering across the room unsteadily what was not really in his in his usual manner.  
  
"Yeah, we've been through that", Jack sighed, " the question is: where's she now?"  
  
Silence tensed around the room. Then Teal'C spoke up thinking of something: "Daniel Jackson, didn't you say there was a troop of jaffa in pursuit of you as you reached the gate?"  
  
"Yes, I did. They came out of the woods as you and Jack have already been through... They were really close. Perhaps one of them shot Sam the second before she entered the event horizon..."  
  
"And we all know damn well whom the jaffa on that goddamned planet belonged to", Jack stated angrily. "That means when somebody has abducted Carter, it's..."  
  
"Baal", Daniel finished the sentence quietly.  
  
"Indeed", Teal'C remarked.  
  
"This means we won't get her back easily", Daniel spoke out everyone's thoughts.  
  
"If we don't know where in his much too big empire he's taken her, we won't get her back at all", O'Neill remarked dropping back into his chair.  
  
That moment the gate alarm went off. "Unauthorized off-world activation", the voice of Sergeant Davis came over the com.  
The members of SG-1 left the conference room hurriedly to get to the control room as soon as possible. As they arrived the wormhole had just established behind the iris.  
  
"Receiving a subspace transmission, sir", Davis reported to General Hammond who was standing next to him.  
  
"This is Sina of the Tok'ra", the Tok'ra's by then familiar voice came over speaker.  
  
"Sina, this is General Hammond of Stargate Command, go ahead."  
  
"I'm sending you this to inform you that one of our operatives among Baal's ranks has become aware of one of your officers being captive aboard the Goa'uld's flagship."  
  
"This is likely possible", Hammond said, "and we'd grateful if you could provide us with information helping us to plan a rescue operation."  
  
"Affirmative, requesting permission to come to your base in thirty minutes."  
  
"Granted. Hammond out", the general showed Davis to turn the Stargate off.  
  
Hammond turned toward Colonel O'Neill: "Let's hope the meeting leads us to results."  
  
"Yes, sir", the sinister expression on Jack's face brightened a little.  
  
Sina arrived at the SGC just in time. General Hammond led her to the conference room where the remaining members of SG-1 had already taken their seats.  
  
"Thank you for coming", the general announced as Sina sat down at the bottom of the table right opposite to him. The Tok'ra bowed her head slightly then started to talk:  
  
"We are aware that Baal's fleet is currently in open space heading toward a minor colony on a planet called Ekron", she went over to the stellar chart and continued, "it is located here", she pointed at a spot in the lower right corner of the chart. "The planet doesn't have a Stargate. The nearest gate can be found on a planet you've labeled P-4S163. This is a small planetoid that was once devastated in an asteroid impact, because of that it is not colonized since it does not have value for the Goa'uld any longer. But still a couple of working ring platforms can be found on it."  
  
"Well, that's really peachy", O'Neill stated, "but does it help us?"  
  
"Indeed it does. According to our latest information Baal's fleet will be crossing the planet within ring distance."  
  
"But how do we get aboard? Don't think we can horn in there, say hello to the jaffa, grab Carter, thank Baal for his damn good hospitality, say good-bye and leave", Jack said cynically.  
  
Daniel intervened: "Sina, do the Tok'ra still have some of that isotope that helped Jonas and me to get aboard Anubis's ship invisible by sensors?"  
  
"Well, that sounds better", Jack remarked with played joy.  
  
"Yes, we still do possess it", Sina affirmed, "and you can use it once again if you are in need for it."  
  
"Don't you see we are?" Jack inquired raising his hands, palms up then turning to Hammond: "General, what d'ya say?"  
  
"Well", the general frowned. "it's very risky. But since we can't leave Major Carter behind... I'd say you can take your team on that mission if you're willing to take the risk."  
  
"Thank you, sir", Jack said, "We've gotten people outta even more explosive situations, don't we?"  
  
"All right, people, let's move", Hammond ordered, "we'll start preparation of this mission immediately. You'll have a go as soon as we've received the isotope from the Tok'ra."  
  
They all rose from their seats and left the room with new hope and confidence. Maybe they would be able to save Sam and she would be with them again soon. 


	3. First Dream

Chapter 3 - First Dream  
  
Sam found herself at home in her bedroom. The light of dawn was floating across the bed. Next to her Pete was still fast asleep breathing gently. She folded back the sheets and swung her feet out of bed. She went to the bathroom to have a shower, then got dressed. Back in the kitchen she started to make some coffee for the two of them. She then went outside to collect the newspaper. As she returned inside, Pete was up as well, she found him at the kitchen table waiting for the coffee machine to finish.  
  
"Hey", she whispered embracing her boyfriend from behind kissing his neck.  
  
"Morning." He smiled as he turned his head to kiss Sam's cheek.  
  
Sam went over to the counter filling the two mugs she had put there with fresh coffee and carried them over to the table. "Shall I make us some breakfast?" she asked Pete.  
  
He shook his head. "I've got the early shift today. I can just finish the coffee and then hope the highway isn't too crowded this morning...", he sighed.  
  
Sam sat down opposite to him. "Duty calls", she said leaning forward with a sigh.  
  
"You know how it is when the boss insists on a meeting at 7.30", he replied with a playful grin.  
  
"Yeah", she smirked back at her boyfriend.  
  
"So, time to go", he said rising from the table.  
  
"Wait." Sam rose as well accompanying Pete to the door where she gave him a big hug and kissed him. He returned the gesture; they remained hugging and kissing for a long moment.  
  
Suddenly the surroundings changed. Her house was gone and Carter found herself in a sumptuously decorated Goa'uld chamber in the arms of someone else... Baal!  
  
Full of shock Sam tore herself away from his arms. She was panting heavily and could not hold herself from staring at him. He eyed her with a sardonic smile. "Your love is lost, Tau'ri", he said with a complacent laugh, "Soon I will have broken all your hopes and you will obey me as your one and only god."  
  
"No", a scream escaped Sam's throat as she shot up. Cold sweat was running all across her body and she had to gasp for air.  
  
The lights of the room flickered on as somebody walked through the door. It was the young woman she had met the day before. She was carrying tray with some bread and a glass of tea on it, that she now sat down next to the bed.  
  
"Good morning", the girl said simply as she walked past the far corner of the room where she drew some clothes from a chest. She came back piling them on the bottom of the bed. As she saw that Sam was refusing to eat she gave her a concerned look.  
  
"You have to eat something", she said admonishingly then adding: "It isn't poisoned, I promise you."  
  
She handed the tea over to the major. "Please."  
  
Sam who was still a bit dazed and even more puzzled took it from her and finally followed the other woman's pleadings.  
  
Having finished the tea the younger woman helped Samantha to get dressed into a black, low-necked dress. Then they sat on the floor watching each other for a while before Sam finally spoke up.  
  
"You haven't told me your name, yet", she stated.  
  
"Samira and what's yours?"  
  
"I'm Major Samantha Carter, U...", she held on as she realized Samira's big-eyed look on her. "Samantha", she finally introduced herself.  
  
Now Sam could not hold herself from another curious question: "How long are you already serving Baal?"  
  
"As long as I can think", Samira replied, "and he has always been good to me. As he will be to you. Have you changed your mind?"  
  
Sam did not answer the question, she merely stared back at the other woman blankly. "Baal is not a god", she said more to herself than to anybody else.  
  
Baal congratulated himself to the glorious plan he had thought up for the Tau'ri woman. Sooner or later he would break her strength by using her feelings of love and affection against her. As he had gotten to know about the emotional conflict she was in concerning the adoration of two different men, he had seen his chance to manipulate her mind easier and in a more enjoyable way as he had seen it for himself ever before. He would turn her into his loyal slave after some time, he just had to be patient and wait.  
  
_To be continued..._


	4. Stitch

Chapter 4 - Stitch

This night she refused to sleep, but somehow Sam was too tired to stay awake. After some fighting hours sleep finally got to her and she dozed away into another even more scaring nightmare.

This time her dream took her right to Baal's torture chamber.

She was standing right behind the Goa'uld while he was torturing somebody else. Sam looked up into the prisoner's direction to see with shock who it was: Colonel O'Neill!

_Jack! _

Sam called out his name, but no one seemed to hear her. Neither Jack nor Baal noticed her shouts. Tears shot into her eyes as Carter kept on trying and trying and nothing changed.

With every blade that cut through the colonel's body she herself cramped together with great pain. She saw him die once, then everything started over again; she saw him die for a second and a third time. Which every death and every dagger Baal aimed at Jack Sam's pain grew more severe.

Finally she sank down to her knees burying her face in her hands. No longer could she stand to see him suffer so gravely.

Suddenly the image of Jack fade away and as she looked up Samantha realized that she was lying right to the feet of Baal.

His piercing glance and the cold smile he gave her made Sam tremble.

"You left him alone", he stated scornfully.

"No..." she rejected looking away from him.

"Don't lie to yourself."

"This is not true", her reply was not more than a whisper.

Baal pulled Sam up to her feet. His grip around her wrists was so tight, she was not able to wind from it. She was forced to look right into his eyes. They seemed to consume her.

"Do you really hope for forgiveness? You weren't at his side when he needed you the most", he paused adding an icy smirk to his words before he went on: "He has to hate you. Accept it."

Sam felt how her legs started to give way under her. She was on the verge of breakdown as the dream fade away into nothing.

Baal was more than pleased about the result the intervention into the Tau'ri's dreams had. With every tear and every cry of hers his contentedness grew. Not much longer until she would be all his. He left her alone before she started to wake and got aware of his presence.

As she started up from her bed Carter did not feel as if she had slept at all. The threatening dream she had just experienced seemed more than just real to her; the pain and the tears, she seemed to have truly suffered from them, but as she looked at her wrists there were no marks of Baal's grip to be seen. She was almost sure that he was manipulating her mind the same way Osiris had done it with Daniel.

That moment Samira burst into the room. She acted the usual way as if nothing had happened merely remarking: "You look horrible. Are you unwell?"

Carter eyed her closely. "Don't you know what's going on here?" she questioned.

"What do you mean?" the girl responded innocently. "All I know is that you don't seem to sleep at night."

"You know the reason for that", Sam snapped a little too harshly.

Samira looked at her as if she had just gone mad. "I don't have a clue, honest", she said calmly.

The truth was that Samira really knew what was happening. She knew exactly about her master coming to alter the Tau'ri's dreams at night. She was just following his orders by lying to her. It was her task to gather the Tau'ri's confidence and to complete the work Baal had begun at night. She loved this part of her work because she could satisfy her master best by doing it conscientiously and intelligently. Her next step would put a deep stitch right to the other woman's heart, she planned to play with the most valuable thing Baal had ever given her.


	5. Lost And Forgotten

Chapter 5 - Lost And Forgotten?

Over the day Sam had suffered from headache several times. Sometimes the tearing pain made her cry some silent tears. Every time she needed comfort she thought of Pete and the last happy days they had had together before she had gone on the mission on that she had been shot and captured by Baal's jaffa who had caught her off guard coming out of their hiding-out in the woods as she had been on her way to the Stargate.

She thought of the last evening she and her boyfriend had spent together. Pete had taken her to a romantic picnic at the shore of a small lake not far away from Colorado Springs. After finishing their meal they had jumped into the water and had swum together, taking their arms around each other. After that they had lain in the sand of the small beach together, laughing about each other's stories and jokes just like teenagers.

Now Sam was longing to see Pete again. She was everything else than sure, if this would ever happen, but she was not willing to give up hope, yet. Someone would find her and take her back home before she ended up as Baal's servant, so she thought.

Samira really seemed to have other plans for her. She had been around with Sam all day, caring for her not mentioning the happenings of the morning with a single word. She appeared to be bothered and concerned about Carter's condition and her wellbeing.

Some time late in the afternoon another servant entered the room carrying a small, crying bundle into her arms, she passed to Samira. It was a baby not older than five months and Samira held it to her breast to nurse it. While she did that she smiled at Samantha brightly.

"This is my little girl", she told her proudly, "her name's Daray."

Sam watched her for a long while before she uttered a question she should not have asked: "Who's her father?"

Now Samira smiled at her even brighter: "It is our god himself."

"You mean Baal ... is her father?" Sam was stunned.

"Indeed he is."

Carter could not believe it. Baal was having a child together with this still very young servant. She found it hard to hide her dismay.

Samira spoke on not caring for the expression on her opposite's face: "She is a gift of love my master once gave me in a wonderful night. There's no one who can understand how great the affection was I felt for him, then."

Sam had a flashback about how she had once talked to Pete about having kids one day. He had smiled and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend telling her that he would be really happy about that... Tears shot into her eyes once again. Now this all was far away from her. What if she would not make it back to him? What if she would obey Baal one day, having children with him herself? She could not stand the mere idea of that.

"You see he has always been good to me and he will be the same way to you, if you just accept him as your god."

Samantha refused that thought: "I can't", she replied weeping softly.

"One day you'll change your mind. Lord Baal is the only one whom you are to love. If there's anyone waiting for you at home, forget him, you'll never see that man again."

Thinking about losing Pete forever put a stitch to Sam's heart, but the next moment she realized that Jack was the one whose loss pained her even more.

One moment later Samira left taking her baby to bed. Sam suddenly felt tired, she collapsed onto the bed, sobbing herself to sleep.

Baal was very content of Samira's work. She had taken the Tau'ri to a point where her fears of loss and longings to get home were in the most advanced state possible. If she wanted or not she was now fully in his hand. He could make her believe whatever he wanted her to about her past and the men she adored.

As Sam woke up the next morning she did not remember much about the night. Her head was aching and her mind seemed sort of empty. She did not remember anything about the man she loved, Pete was just a faraway echo of someone she once knew. She let out a silent cry as she realized that she could not return home; she had disappointed all of her friends by leaving her best friend Jack alone as he had needed her the most.

She saw that she had no other choice but to obey Baal if she ever wanted to be accepted again.


	6. Rescue Mission

Chapter 6 - Rescue Mission

As he stepped through the gate Jack O'Neill was welcomed by the planetoid's rough, sandy wind and a sun that burnt down on him and his team with merciless heat. He adjusted his sunglasses and tore his cap a little deeper into his face.

"A nice place to roast some potatoes", the colonel remarked.

While Daniel and Teal'C went to search for the nearest functioning ring platform he ordered the two Marines that were accompanying them to secure a perimeter just in case there would be some jaffa after the team later.

Daniel seemed to have found a platform. Jack jogged over to him and Teal'C to see what they got.

"This one seems to be on sufficient power", Daniel stated checking the crystals.

"A signal, yet?"O'Neill asked.

"No...", all of a sudden the crystal color changed, "There we go."

"Okay ya two, let's move", Jack charged his M-6 and stepped onto the platform. Teal'C followed him, then Daniel activated the transport and joined them as well.

"What you're doing is right", Samira put her hand on Sam's shoulder. She was more than content about the Tau'ri's change of mind not counting that it was nothing else than forced.

Sam had her face averted from her, she was looking down to the floor her fingers absently brushing over the sheets of her bed. She now accepted that serving Baal was the only chance left for her. She had nowhere else to go and no one waiting for her at home any more. Her memories of home that were still left in her mind were not positive, no one wanted her ... Or was there another way? As she tried to remember a rush of pain shot through her head -- nothing. Samantha prepared to meet her fate with the arrival on the new planet.

Samira startled Sam from her thoughts: "I've got to look after Daray. If you need something you know where to find me."

Carter nodded slowly not looking up. So Samira stood up from the bed and went outside.

There was no one present as the three of them materialized in the ring room. O'Neill sneaked over to the door waving Daniel and Teal'C closer. As the door hissed open he peered outside. There was no one in sight. They stepped outside cautiously making their way to the next corner.

"Any idea where Carter could be held?"Jack whispered, "you, T?"

The jaffa shook his head. "I am not sure, O'Neill."

That moment there was motion on the corridor before them. Jack took a quick glance around the corner to see what was going on. A woman, probably one of Baal's maidens, who was accompanied by a jaffa went by. She and the guard were talking about something in Goa'uld.

"Hey Dan, ya know what they're talkin' about?"the colonel inquired turning around at Daniel.

Daniel concentrated on their words for a moment then he said: "I think they'd lead us to Sam."

"Ya think?"Jack frowned at him.

"Okay, okay, I'm kinda sure about it. Maybe we'd better follow them", Daniel corrected himself.

They waited until the pair was far away enough for them to follow unseen, then Jack took lead and the three of them went along the corridor slowly held closely to the wall.

After a ten minute journey through the ship's labyrinth of corridors and passageways they seemed to have reached their goal. The servant girl entered a room and the jaffa took position by the door.

As Samira entered the room again the Tau'ri had started to wander across the room unsteadily. She seemed to be in pain once again, the effects of the dreams appeared to be stronger than expected.

Samira crossed the room to reach her asking: "Are you all right?"

"Yes, just a little dizzy", Sam replied softly.

That moment the sound of staff blasts could be heard from outside. Short after the sounds had fade away the door slid open. Both Samira and Sam turned around to see what was going on with both fear and astonishment.

Samira was shocked to see two more Tau'ri and the shol'va standing in the doorway. She threw herself in front of the Tau'ri woman to protect her.

Jack gave the signal for attack. Teal'C aimed his staff at one of the guards by the door. As the blast hit him the other jaffa turned into the direction the blast had come from; but before he could make a move Teal'C shot him as well. Now the three of them stormed toward the door. As it opened and permitted them inside they faced a more than startled Carter staring at them as if they were ghosts.

The servant who had led them here unwillingly made some steps into their way.

"Uh-uh", Jack pointed his machine gun at here, "Get away from there."

The girl followed his order and stepped back again slowly.

Sam was still staring at them not showing any motion. Slowly she seemed to shake off the shock. She opened her mouth and gasped quietly:

"Jack??"

Suddenly Sam's head started to spin, this could not be true, she had to be hallucinating clinging to a wish that could not be granted...

Her dizziness became stronger and the headaches returned, images were flashing through her mind. She could not stand their impact on her brain. All of a sudden Sam passed out.

Carter's eyes seemed to widen even more as she was struggling to breathe and then broke down. Jack shot forward to catch her before she hit the floor.

"Gotcha", he exclaimed holding his unconscious comrade close to himself.

"Move out!"he called to Daniel and Teal'C who where securing the scene.

As the servant made another move toward them Teal'C zatted her remarking something in Goa'uld to her before it.

Now they ran outside the room making their way to the next ring room. As they found it and went inside they startled some jaffa who were not awaiting them. Out of surprise they were able to struck them down in a short fire battle. They activated the rings and as soon as they were back on the planetoid's surface O'Neill ordered the Marines to dial the gate over radio. As he and the rest of his team reached it the Stargate was already activated and IDC confirmation had just been given.

Back at the SGC Jack rushed to infirmary with the still passed-out Carter in his arms as fast as he could.

Dr Fraiser showed him to lay her down on an unoccupied bed. O'Neill stepped back to let Fraiser and her people get to her.

"Give me her vitals", Janet ordered.

"Pulse is stable, but there's no pupil reaction..."

"Prepare for EEG", Fraiser bent down closer to Sam whispering to her: "Hang on...don't leave me alone here."

Janet gave out some more orders before she turned to talk to Jack.

"She's gonna be okay, ain't she?"the colonel exquired.

Janet let out a long breath before responding him: "To tell the truth, sir: I can't say that, yet. Her present condition is stable but more than worrying..."

"How bad is it?"

"Well, she's under shock and on the verge of a comatose state. Something Baal has done to her seems to have put her nerve system on overload..."

Jack cursed silently. If Sam would die because of something this bastard had done to her he would go and kill him with his own two hands, sending this goddamned Goa'uld to hell forever.

__


	7. To The Surface

Chapter 7 - To The Surface

"Hang on... don't leave me alone..." the pleading call reached Sam even in the deep ocean of trance she was trapped in. She could hear it but was much too far away to respond to it, her mind was still out of control not responding to her tries to regain it. Suddenly Sam was pulled vigorously into another dream...

"Sirs?" Dr. Fraiser appeared on the doorstep of General Hammond's office as he was just going through the rescue mission's report with Colonel O'Neill. The two of them looked up at her.

"Any news, doctor?" Hammond inquired.

Janet nodded closing the door behind her. She walked over to the desk putting the folder down she had brought with her.

"What have you found out?" Jack asked her nervously.

"Well, if you please look at that", Fraiser took an MRT image out of the folder turning it around so that O'Neill and Hammond could look at it.

"What is that?" Jack questioned pointing at a small spot on the picture.

"This appears to be a device Baal has implanted to Major Carter's cortex", Janet told him.

"You say he has...?" Jack's mouth fell open with shock.

She nodded sadly. "I can't figure out if it's activated or inactive, yet."

"Can you remove it?" Hammond exquired.

"Not easily. It's position is very difficult to reach, a removal would likely cause irreversible damage."

Janet put the image back into the folder.

"How is Sam, generally?" Jack wanted to know.

"Not much has changed, but perhaps she'll wake up in some hours, her reaction slowly starts to get better."

"Can I come see her?"

"Sure. She could use some company."

Jack turned to look at the general: "If you don't need me any more, sir, I'd..."

Hammond nodded showing him to go.

Sam looked around, she was surrounded by a dark, empty hall with dull blue light shining down from the ceiling.

"Hello?" Her voice was echoing all around her ricocheting from the walls of the large room.

Sam heard footsteps, she turned her head to look in all directions. To her left somebody appeared walking out of the shadows. She turned toward the person to see a tall woman with short, blonde hair with dark strands dyed into it. She was wearing a wide, black dress and her grayish eyes seemed to have lost their sparkle long ago... Sam looked at her a bit closer, the woman reminded her of herself, she _was_ herself.

"Who are you?" Sam asked.

"I am you ... if your friends hadn't been able to save you and you had chosen to serve Baal."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to tell you not to be foolish now. It depends on you what happens next..."

"What do you mean?"

"You have to fight to return to the surface of your mind. But as it seems you've chosen to run away. This is not the Samantha I once used to be. You must not believe a single thing of what Baal told you as I did."

"You mean no one has averted from me? No one has turned to hate me?"

"No. They are all hoping for you to return to them, you're having a chance I've never had. Return before it is too late. Fight."

The vision faded away into nothingness. Sam did not ponder about her parallel ego's words for long. She gathered all of her remaining physical and psychical strength pushing her way up to the surface. Every second of the way hurt her, but she kept on thinking of home or what she remembered of it. She finally reached the border that was hard to cross...

"Jack", Sam opened her eyes gasping for air. She shot up from the bed cramping together with pain.

"Hey hey, easy, Sam" , Jack shoved her back gently.

Sam reached out a hand, he took it between his caressing it with his thumb.

"I'm sorry", she brought out before she broke out into tears.

"For what? Everything's okay", Jack comforted her wrapping an arm around her. Sam rose a little, burying her face into his shoulder continuing to sob quietly.

Sam was at the end of her strength but she eased as she realized that no one was blaming her for anything. Albeit though she could not stop crying, she did not even know why...

Jack held Sam in his arms tightly. He did not want to let her go again. Even though she was awake now, he was highly worried about her and what Baal had done to her. One day he would pay for it, Jack swore it.

_To be continued... Prepare for some surprises..._


	8. Extinguished

Chapter 8 - Extinguished  
  
Jack stayed with Sam all night through. After she had stopped crying they had sat together talking about what had happened. Sam's confused thoughts scared Jack. What Baal made her believe about them made his heart sink. They could not talk around it easily. He knew the situation had been different, if Sam remembered the true outgoing was hard to say. At the moment she seemed far too perplexed to get anything right. All Jack could do was ease her gloom and be by her side as long as possible.  
Some minutes ago Sam had fallen asleep. O'Neill was still sitting by her side thinking about what was going on. He did not look up as he heard the curtain behind him being pulled aside.  
  
"O'Neill", Teal'C was now standing by his side accompanied by Janet.  
  
"Hey, T", Jack greeted him still not looking up. "What's going on people?"  
  
"You haven't slept for a long time, sir", Janet responded him, "maybe it'd be better if Teal'C would replace you here for the moment and you go and have a nap."  
  
"Well, no thanks, not yet", Jack said disapprovingly. But the next moment he could not hold back a yawn and he had to rub his eyes.  
  
Janet folded her arms before her chest questioning: "You sure, sir?" then adding reassuringly, "if something happens you'll be the first to know."  
  
"Okay, okay ya got me, I'll go", Jack finally decided raising his hands. He took a last look at Sam, who was still peacefully asleep on the bed in front of him, before he stood up and left.  
  
But he did not go to his quarters for now, he was still much too agitated to sleep. He went to the cafeteria to get himself some coffee and a little something to eat, he realized that his stomach felt sort of empty, it was even growling a bit. He set his tray down on a table where Daniel had already sat down and was absently stirring around in his mug of black coffee. As O'Neill took the seat opposite to his, Daniel looked up.  
  
"Hi Jack."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"How's Sam?"  
  
"At the moment she's sleeping. Teal'C's with her."  
  
"Oh. By the way you look as if you could use some sleep yourself."  
  
"Yeah", Jack sighed, "I got that."  
  
For some moments quiet settled between them. Then Daniel came up with news for Jack:  
"By the way Pete called me up this morning."  
  
Jack glanced at him raising his eyebrows. "What Pete? You mean Shanahan?"  
  
"Yeah, that Pete", Daniel replied.  
  
"He's got your phone number?", Jack looked startled.  
  
"We exchanged them, yes. He told me he was worried because he couldn't reach Sam for some weeks now."  
"What did you say?" O'Neill wanted to know.  
  
"Well...", Daniel began.  
  
"You told him?"  
  
Jackson nodded slowly.  
  
"Holy crap, Daniel..."  
  
"I thought he had a right to know that his girlfriend...", he defended his position.  
  
Jack retorted: "Yeah, whatever Daniel, but have you ever thought of Carter for a second? All she needs now is a concerned boyfriend hopping around her making things difficult."  
  
"Maybe it'd help her."  
  
"Tell me one thing, Daniel", Jack exquired, "have you been around to see Sam, yet? She's sorta puzzled because that goddamned snakehead altered her memory. You should've seen how she's reacted as she saw me by her side, what she remembered was badly wrong, she thought she'd left me alone. And to make myself clear here: I don't know and I don't wanna know how she reacts on her 'boyfriend'."  
  
Daniel frowned. "Well Jack we may have a little problem now. I've already spoken to General Hammond and he's spoken to Janet and they've agreed to grant Pete a visit..."  
  
Jack bashed his flat hands on the table exclaiming: "Great, Daniel, really great." He rose from the table leaving the cafeteria without another word to say.  
  
Pete Shanahan entered infirmary and was welcomed by Janet who walked over as soon as she saw him. "Hello Dr Fraiser", he greeted her.  
  
"Hi. Nice to meet you again. Beautiful flowers you've brought, I think Sam will like them. "  
  
"How is she at all?" Pete asked her.  
  
"She's better generally, but I'm still a little worried about some of her vitals", Janet forced herself to a little smile, "She has just woken up again, you can see her right away if you want to; but I haven't told her you're coming, yet."  
  
"This is okay, perhaps a little cheering surprise won't be so bad for her", Pete smirked a bit.  
  
"Well, perhaps..." Janet showed him to follow her.  
  
Having reached Sam's bed she pulled the curtain aside and went through to her shoving Pete who seemed to hesitate now with her a little.  
  
"Sam" , the person addressed by Janet looked up at the two visitors, "here someone who wanted to see you."  
  
Fraiser nudged Pete to step closer to Sam's bed. He smiled the biggest smile he had. "Hi Sam."  
A pair of icy blue eyes scanned Pete from top to bottom resting on him for over a minute before Sam's forehead formed a frown. "Who are you?" she questioned softly.  
  
Janet and Pete exchanged a shocked glance.  
  
"Sam, this is Pete your boyfriend", Fraiser tried to remind her.  
  
Carter blinked at her then let her glance wander between her and Pete before she stated: "I don't remember him, I'm sorry."  
  
Sam knew this man from somewhere, she did not remember from where exactly. They seemed to be a couple, to love each other. She tried to dig deeper in her memory, but the more she tried to remember him, the more throbbed her head. All of a sudden everything started to spin. Somewhere under her right temple she felt a sharp twinge then she passed out.  
  
Suddenly Sam collapsed onto the bed, for some seconds she was twitching with pain and terror and her closed eyelids were flickering wildly. Janet rushed over to her friend, checking her pupils , they were motionless and unnaturally widened. Sam seemed to suffer from another neural shock. The implant had to have caused short-circuit to hold her from remembering.  
  
Janet turned around to look at Pete, he was staring at her with disbelief, white all over his still shocked face. 


	9. Awakening

Chapter 9 - Awakening

Daniel Jackson found Jack in his office trying to bury his concern under a mass of work, the colonel did not seem to be too successful with his tries. As Daniel knocked on the half-opened door and went inside, Jack shot him a devastating glance.

"What?" he exquired.

"You've heard what happened, haven't you?" Daniel questioned back trying to overlook his friend's explosive mood.

"I've seen it coming", Jack groaned.

"I know." Daniel cleared his throat looking away for a moment.

"So if you know that, why are you here, then?" Jack eyed him closely his anger about the situation still simmering.

"Well, I just wanted to check in on you, see how you're doing."

"I could kill somebody, but that's all", O'Neill tried to calm down.

"Okay, that's not nice to hear..." Daniel scratched his ear.

Jack bowed his head aside slightly. "Something else?" he asked.

"Indeed", Jackson held on shifting from one feet to another, "Teal'C and I had an idea."

"Oh really, what?" Jack questioned cynically.

Daniel started to explain: "Well, since Janet has found out more about how the implant works and that it's likely the cause for Sam's current shock because it blocked her memory..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know she's told me that as well. What's your point?" Jack retorted impatiently.

"Janet has now found some proof for the assumption that the implant malfunctioned owing to the immense flood of memories the encounter with Pete has caused. The thing seems to be a little fried now ..."

"Your point Daniel?" O'Neill questioned again.

"Yeah, I'm close to it now", Daniel went on, "Teal'C and I thought that we could maybe eliminate the implant and the barrier it causes by helping Sam to remember more things of those Baal repressed. There's a chance realistic that the implant will be destroyed by another flood of memories..."

"And that Carter's brain gets fried", Jack remarked, "have ya thought of that for a second?"

Daniel sighed. "We did. But if we leave Sam how she's now, she'll stay in such unstable condition for who knows how long, that's a fact."

"So, how you're planning to realize your ingenious idea?" Jack was still unsure about it all.

"We're all going to see Sam and well, we assume that she can still comprehend our presence and hear what we say though she's in that state she's in."

"Great one guys, let's play bet and win. I bet ten bucks that we won't change a single thing..." the colonel remarked bitterly.

"Come on, Jack, don't be like that. It's our only shot, you know that."

Jack's eyebrows shot up and he let out a worn-down but less pessimistic groan in agreement.

After Janet had managed to stabilize Sam's condition, she took care of Pete. She took him to her office easing him to sit down. He seemed to be really dejected looking down to the floor.

"Sam isn't going to be all right, ain't she?" he inquired quietly.

"We don't know much by now. I won't see it that way", Fraiser tried to soothe him.

"What has that Goa'uld done to her?" Pete wanted to know.

"Well", Janet tried to choose her words as carefully as possible, "it seems that he has altered Sam's memories for his purpose and tried to take away her hopes..."

"By deleting me", he finished for her sadly.

"So it seems, but I wouldn't say deleted exactly, just suppressed." Janet still tried to calm Sam's boyfriend, but was not really doing good at it, his sorrow was much too big. She gave it a last try: "If you want to you can stay for some time until we've figured out more."

He nodded thankfully. "If I'm not causing you any more trouble."

"You don't", Janet assured him.

Some minutes after Pete had left the office she got some more visitors: Daniel, Teal'C and Colonel O'Neill who still hadn't slept enough.

"We want to try what we've discussed some time ago", Daniel told her.

"Okay, but we have to be careful. As soon as there's trouble, you'll have to abort your try", she replied hoping that it wouldn't come that far.

Sam was experiencing another dream. She was sitting on the grass outside a small cabin near a lake she seemed to know well. But she did not remember much about it. From somewhere she heard hushed, whispering sounds, she assumed them to be caused by the wind striking the trees.

Suddenly Sam felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun around to see Jack standing behind her.

"Hey Sam", he said dropping down by her side.

"Hi", she smiled back.

"You know you're worrying me, don't ya?"

"I do?" she questioned.

"You think, you've disappointed me and you're scaring the hell outta all of us with your lost memories and the passing out all the time."

Sam eyed him closely.

"Don't you remember the truth?" Jack went on.

Suddenly a memory flashed into her mind. Sam saw herself in infirmary standing on the side of Jack's bed, the day he had been able to escape from Baal's outpost...with the help of his friends including herself. She was holding his hand as he brushed along the back of hers with his thumb in his semi-conscious state of mind. It felt like a warm gesture of eternal gratefulness.

As the vision fade away Jack was no longer sitting alone with her, Teal'C had joined him.

"Major Carter", he greeted her.

"Teal'C", she smiled at her jaffa friend.

"I want you to know that everything Baal made you believe was a lie, without your help there wouldn't have been the initiative to rescue O'Neill. Your thoughts were what made me ponder about a way to attack the outpost."

Once again Sam saw how they had all sat together studying the Tok'ra mission reports. Everybody took part in the vivid discussion, even she herself. It seemed that she had been the one linking important thoughts to a theory. She remembered it, she had not been idle, she had tried to help Jack with all her strength whatever happened, she had not left him alone.

Daniel was now sitting on the lawn with them as well. He gave Sam a concerned smile questioning: "Where's your memory gone? Don't you remember your friends and good times we all had together?"

Now that Sam remembered some more she tried to think of something else that had gone about their togetherness.

"We all need you", Daniel went on, "but it's not only us, it's your boyfriend as well. Did you really forget about him? Do you remember how you two sat together with Sarah and me that one night in the cafeteria?"

Sam thought of it and had another vision. She was on that evening in the cafeteria with Daniel and his girlfriend who had finally been freed from the symbiote taking her as its host. She was smiling while Daniel told some story about a dig they had both participated in. Next to Sam sat the one that she had been introduced as her boyfriend Pete.

Suddenly she memories about him were bubbling up. They grew stronger and stronger until all of them broke through the barrier at once flooding her mind: Her brother Mark as he introduced them to each other, their first date, the first kiss, the anniversary dance, the picnic on the beach, everything was there again...

All of a sudden Sam's body got into motion, she was twitching and her breath became faster. She threw her head to the one side and it was as if a short flash of overload energy could be seen crawling along her temple.

A moment later Sam opened her eyes. She was blinking wildly then she started crying heavily once again.

"Hey, Sam, s'okay", Jack whispered.

She looked up at him fighting back tears. Jack smiled at her and wiped away the tears that had stopped on her cheeks with his thumb.

"Do you remember now?" he asked.

"I do", she responded weakly almost inaudibly with her lips forming a small grin.

Jack was so happy he could not hold himself from leaning forward and kissing his friend's forehead. "This is great", he exclaimed quietly. He helped Sam to sit up. Now she turned her head to see Daniel and Teal'C sitting to her other side. She embraced first Daniel then Teal'C realizing that they had brought her back altogether.

_AN: Hold on people, there are 1 or 2 concluding chapters to come..._


	10. Solutions

Chapter 10 - Solutions 

The morning after her return to the real world Sam gradually started to feel better. Her headaches had gone and she no longer felt dizzy. Her friends had sat with her for a long time, they had talked about everything she and the others had had on their mind. It had felt so good to all of them. As Daniel and Teal'C had long gone in the middle of the night, Jack had still been with her. This time they had not hidden any of their affection toward each other; Jack had held her in his arms and she had told him everything from beginning to end, he had caressed her hair and she had kissed his neck. After all that Sam was able to smile again, but now she suddenly started to feel awkward once again...

Pete who had stayed at an on-base room the last night came up to see her. He sat down on the chair next to her bed where Jack had been sitting just some hours ago.

"Hi", he said with a relieved smile, "how are you doing?"

"I'm gonna be fine", Sam replied trying to smile back at him, "some things are still a little vague, but they'll come back soon as well."

"But you're remembering your boyfriend now, don't you?"

"How could I ever forget you?" she questioned back thinking: Yeah, how had she ever come to forget Pete? What had Baal intended with wiping him out? It was not just because he was her boyfriend and he would have kept her from becoming a loyal servant, there was more. Baal had gotten to know about her and Jack adoring each other, perhaps ... no it could not be... That the return of her most moving memories about Jack had caused a revival of their long suppressed love had never been part of any plan, it was a side-effect no one had ever considered to happen. But it had come to be and she had to deal with it now, Sam had no idea how she should ever tell Pete about her current feelings, she could not even look straight into his face, she hated Baal for things having developed that way.

Sam was so lost in her thoughts, she did not listen to Pete's words.

"...again."

"Pardon?" Sam asked. "I've just been way off with my thoughts, I'm sorry."

Her boyfriend eyed her with a slight trace of concern: "I was just hoping we'd be together again now."

"Hope so, too", Sam replied trying to quip a little, but she was not really convincing with it.

Pete furrowed his brows: "What's wrong?" he exquired eyeing his girlfriend closely.

"Nothing, really", Sam was not ready to tell him about her insecurity just now.

They talked for some more minutes and Sam could not stop feeling uncomfortable. Finally Pete left and she was still not able to stop pondering...

"Sam", later that day Janet came to tell her friend good news.

Carter looked up from the astronomy book Daniel had fetched her from the library. "Hey Jan, you look as if you have something happy to tell", she remarked.

"Yeah, so it is. I've just spoken to Sina. She told me that the Tok'ra are able to remove the remaining parts of the implant."

"That's ... great", Sam hesitated as she realized that it was not really easing the rest of her thoughts, "so they've seen it before?"

Janet nodded. "Yeah, it wasn't the first time Baal used it on somebody..." she frowned as she saw the wary expression on her opposite's face. "Hey, what's wrong with you?" she inquired.

Samantha took a deep breath and told her: "It's because... because of Pete. I can't love him like I did before and I don't know how to tell him." A tear found its way down her cheek.

Janet sat down on the bed and watched her for a moment before she tried to comfort her: "Your affection for Jack has grown strong again, hasn't it? It's hard for you and I really understand that. But you have to deal with it somehow. I don't know how I can help you exactly."

"I know", Sam sighed, "but thank you for trying. If you think of something nevertheless..."

"Wait", her friend exclaimed, "why don't you try and write him a letter?"

"You think?", Carter was not sure if writing her thoughts down would make it easier.

"Yeah, why not?" Janet encouraged her.

"Well, okay, I'll try", Sam gave her a thankful smile.

Some time later Janet return with a pad and some pens. Once again she gave Samantha an encouraging smile.

For some hours Sam tried to write the letter, she made some attempts, but she threw them all away. Finally she gave it up until Daniel came to visit her.

"Having trouble?" he asked.

"I've been trying to write Pete a letter for hours now."

"Oh", Daniel smirked a bit, "difficult task, huh?"

Sam nodded.

"Maybe I can help, I've got some experience with letters."

He sat down on the edge of her bed and Sam gave the letter another try. After some minutes of thinking she started writing again. It was easier now. Half an hour later she was finished.

"So now we're going to send it now? Mail could take some days", Carter thought out loud.

"Has Pete gone back home to Denver?"

"I think so."

"I have to go and pick some stuff up there, tomorrow morning. I could take the letter with me if you want to, then."

Sam smiled at her friend for his helpfulness: "Thank you a lot, Daniel."

He smiled back. "You're welcome, Sam.

As Pete came home he found a letter on the doorstep. He picked it up and went inside then opened the letter starting to read it. It was from Sam.

_Dear Pete, _

_Hopefully you're feeling better now that you know things are going to be fine again. My memories have all returned by now. We've even found a way to remove the remains of the implant. So I'm going to be fine pretty soon._

_There's only one thing we'll have to deal with. Some things in my life have changed now that my memories have returned. I need some time to deal with them, so you won't see me for some time. I hope you understand. _

_In love, _

_Sam_

Pete lay the letter down on the kitchen table and gazed outside the window. Some day, in the near future, he thought, Samantha Carter and he would be together again as if nothing had happened.

The End

AN: Okay people, you've made it to the end. Thank you for all those positive reviews... blushes I'm really flattered about them all. Thanks for the attention you've paid on this story anyway.

_I hope you'll like my next story as well. It'll be up here in some time, I think it's going to be a little romance, but not one of the usual kind... _


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